One night date

February 5, 2024

Kissing right next to my house entrance after our first date he came into my apartment from the cold street. I liked that he listened to me and let him in to wait for a taxi.

We came in, took off our coats, having a small talk about my cats. We got closer. His big mouth framed by thick lips and a wide warm tongue started building a slippery path from my left ear down my neck.

I said I don’t wanna have sex today.

My eyes are closed. My mouth is smiling.

I’m only kissing you. Don’t you like that?

I’ve been liking him all this time. Confident, good looking, warm eyed men with a big smile invited me to a bar on a boring Tuesday evening. Our plan to have a coffee was switched to a beer. They didn’t have coffee in that place. And don’t I like beer?

Just like a Porter beer his dark eyes were looking at me with excited animalistic intentions. We both liked Crash of Cronenberg. I considered his eyes attractive.

Ok, now you order a taxi.

I’m trying to stay playful, calming the animal down with a smile. I don’t fight the touching. I usually like being touched.

He types his address down on the bright screen with a familiar green logo. I follow up his crooked fingers.

And should we still go to the cinema tomorrow? I like cinema.

The phone clacks on the wooden table.

That’s it, ordered. Just like I promised, look. 5 minutes

I put my hands on his shoulders. I usually like shoulders.

He kisses me with a passion and I continue playing, feeling safer with a game less than 5 min long. I jump on top, he drags up my skirt. I feel his hands squeezing my hips.

His mouth is full of liquid, it feels like a small sexual lizard. I feel a little shaking in me and attempt to push him away.

Why do you push me away all the time?

I should work on the decisiveness of what I exactly want. I should be more clear, and strong. Maybe I didn’t tell him strongly enough…

I’m just playing with you!

He moves his fingers aggressively inside me. My body likes it, my mind doesn’t. I moan from sorrow, he takes it as granted. One hand is inside me, with the other one he grabs the phone.

I’ll cancel it for now. I’ll order another one later.

Shocked how fast it was, now the game is longer and I feel like I’m losing to my own self. With half a second and 1,80 euros for canceled order he takes me to bed, taking his and my pants off.

I feel ashamed that cats have to watch me now.

He kisses my nipples, laying partially on top of my body. I feel his warmness and weight. The shaking is still there, I push him away sometimes and laugh about myself at the same time. He grabs me back, and puts fingers back in. My insides are all wet.