One night date

My eyes are closed. My mouth is smiling.

• I’m only kissing you. Don’t you like that?

I’ve been liking him all this time. Confident, good looking, warm eyed men with a big smile invited me to a bar on a boring Tuesday evening. Our plan to have a coffee was switched to a beer. They didn’t have coffee in that place. And don’t I like beer?

Just like a Porter beer his dark eyes were looking at me with excited animalistic intentions. We both liked Crash of Cronenberg. I considered his eyes attractive.

• Ok, now you order a taxi. 

I’m trying to stay playful, calming the animal down with a smile. I don’t fight the touching. I usually like being touched.

He types his address down on the bright screen with a familiar green logo. I follow up his crooked fingers.

And should we still go to the cinema tomorrow? I like cinema.

The phone clacks on the wooden table.

• That’s it, ordered. Just like I promised, look. 5 minutes 

I put my hands on his shoulders. I usually like shoulders. 

He kisses me with a passion and I continue playing, feeling safer with a game less than 5 min long. I jump on top, he drags up my skirt. I feel his hands squeezing my hips. 

His mouth is full of liquid, it feels like a small sexual lizard. I feel a little shaking in me and attempt to push him away.

• Why do you push me away all the time? 

I should work on the decisiveness of what I exactly want. I should be more clear, and strong. Maybe I didn’t tell him strongly enough… 

• I’m just playing with you!

He moves his fingers aggressively inside me. My body likes it, my mind doesn’t. I moan from sorrow, he takes it as granted. One hand is inside me, with the other one he grabs the phone.

• I’ll cancel it for now. I’ll order another one later.

Shocked how fast it was, now the game is longer and I feel like I’m losing to my own self. With half a second and 1,80 euros for canceled order he takes me to bed, taking his and my pants off. 

I feel ashamed that cats have to watch me now.

He kisses my nipples, laying partially on top of my body. I feel his warmness and weight. The shaking is still there, I push him away sometimes and laugh about myself at the same time. He grabs me back, and puts fingers back in. My insides are all wet.

• I didn’t plan that today. 
• Don’t worry, I wont do anything that you don’t want.